8.24.2011

This summer I went to the Philippines to do mission work. When I left God was showing me how much I needed him. How I find so many other things to depend on in life. I remember when we first arrived, how nervous I was and how I wasn't sure what to think. I kept telling God "You don't really want me here to do this, I'm not good enough" but deep down I knew that this was a calling that would forever change me. The things I learned about a whole other world in the SAME world became real to me. Spiritually God showed me how to lean on him in the times that I really felt alone and the times I felt the weakest I have ever felt. God opened this door and revealed a place where people die because of disease, malnurishment, abuse, and neglect. However, God has made an appearance in these filipinos and is doing great works through the people he has already lead there.

I had a dream two nights ago. I was boarding a ship to leave the country. As we set sail, another ship took off at the same time and collided into an invisible wall. But I wasn't really on either of the ships, I was watching both ships as one kept going and the other had utter chaos.

I long to leave this place I know so well. I want to share the love of Christ with the helpless. I know that there is a pathway being gently carved as God shows his direction. I wish that I could run into a room of children that need love and swoop down and pick them up. A girl I met this summer told me that my arms would ache to hold a baby. I honestly wasn't sure if I believed her but I do now.

I struggle in talking about my experience with people as I wonder if they really are listening. Sometimes I find that in the conversations, people are more pulled to the cultural differences.

Last week, I had my wisdom teeth cut out. The nurse hooking me up to the machine asked me how I spent the summer. When I told here, she looked at me and said "Oh, I wish I could do something like that.." I said " you should and you can!" she quickly responded " I have two children, I just don't have time" and before I knew it I was being read the policies and given medicine to go to sleep. I keep thinking how I want to just go back and tell her that there is no specific time, to take her kids when they are a little older, because I saw other parents and their children come into the orphanage. Not only did the kid see and experience a change but the parent learned and grew from it as well. I am praying for this nurse..

Hopefully, I'll get to go back to this place that I have come to love in such a short time. God has already made so many changes in the plans I had for this Fall. It has been stressful coming back into this world where I am a college graduate and now needing a job, but I keep hearing God say "Be flexible". So with every intent of obeying, I am going with the flow. I guess we shall see..... :)

xoxo,

micah